Back at it - Getting Old
I'm back at it. I worked all day Monday (granted, my early day, last patient at 4 pm) and also a full day Wednesday. Today, my late day, we'll start at 10 and see patients until 6:30 - 7 pm. With Gena's help, I'm able to open up more. Since I'll be in a wheelchair/on crutches/using a walker until the end of May, I still can't go to the hospital or start back doing procedures. I'm not used to having my partners take care of my inpatients or do my colonoscopies.
Several of my patients (most of them really) have been making fun of me. They give me a hard time, asking me if I need help climbing ladders, calling me 'Gimp' or 'Crip'. One friend reminded me that when he had a torn ACL, I told him, "Don't worry. It'll be alright." He told me anytime I needed something, I could call him and he would remind me not to worry...it'll be alright.
Someone asked while watching me propel my wheelchair through the office what it felt like to be old. I realized that I am facing 50 (3 months away) and used to think that 50 was ancient. My Dad had his bypass surgery at 42. I find myself glancing at obituary notices and if someone I don't know was over 50, I tend to think "People in their 50's die. That's not a big deal." When I see someone in their 40's I think, "That's odd. People that young shouldn't die". Those of you around the century mark know what I mean.
But when did I get old? Last fall, I was in the best shape of my life. My weight was stable (180). My cholesterol and blood pressure looked great (with the help of cholesterol medications). Fall break, I even ran more than 10 miles when the temperature was 90 degrees. Professionally, I was at my peak. My family life was great (well, I have teenagers, but that's another story). Spiritually, emotionally, financially, socially...everything was going well. And then I got old.
I know, I know. My situation is temporary and soon I'll be outside exercising, working around the house (but not on ladders), back at the same pace at work. My setback is trivial compared to many, but I want to use it as a reminder (especially to myself) that we have no promises of tomorrow. I want to be reminded every day that my time, my money, my family, my job, my home, my gifts, my talents, and even my life do not belong to me. I want to be reminded every day that my life belongs to Him. It's not about what I want to do. It's not about where I want to go. It's not about what I think I should do with my life. It's about what He wants, where He wants me to go, and what His plans are for me. My temporary disability is nothing when compared to the suffering of the cross. Where should I go today? I hope my answer will be "Wherever He wants me to go".
By the way, I got old on February 2, 2010.
Several of my patients (most of them really) have been making fun of me. They give me a hard time, asking me if I need help climbing ladders, calling me 'Gimp' or 'Crip'. One friend reminded me that when he had a torn ACL, I told him, "Don't worry. It'll be alright." He told me anytime I needed something, I could call him and he would remind me not to worry...it'll be alright.
Someone asked while watching me propel my wheelchair through the office what it felt like to be old. I realized that I am facing 50 (3 months away) and used to think that 50 was ancient. My Dad had his bypass surgery at 42. I find myself glancing at obituary notices and if someone I don't know was over 50, I tend to think "People in their 50's die. That's not a big deal." When I see someone in their 40's I think, "That's odd. People that young shouldn't die". Those of you around the century mark know what I mean.
But when did I get old? Last fall, I was in the best shape of my life. My weight was stable (180). My cholesterol and blood pressure looked great (with the help of cholesterol medications). Fall break, I even ran more than 10 miles when the temperature was 90 degrees. Professionally, I was at my peak. My family life was great (well, I have teenagers, but that's another story). Spiritually, emotionally, financially, socially...everything was going well. And then I got old.
I know, I know. My situation is temporary and soon I'll be outside exercising, working around the house (but not on ladders), back at the same pace at work. My setback is trivial compared to many, but I want to use it as a reminder (especially to myself) that we have no promises of tomorrow. I want to be reminded every day that my time, my money, my family, my job, my home, my gifts, my talents, and even my life do not belong to me. I want to be reminded every day that my life belongs to Him. It's not about what I want to do. It's not about where I want to go. It's not about what I think I should do with my life. It's about what He wants, where He wants me to go, and what His plans are for me. My temporary disability is nothing when compared to the suffering of the cross. Where should I go today? I hope my answer will be "Wherever He wants me to go".
By the way, I got old on February 2, 2010.
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