Inside My Mind

This morning I left to take my son to swim practice at 5:30 am and noticed that it was warmer than usual (41° instead of 11°). However, the usually bright stars were hidden by the clouds and rain was falling. I enjoy looking at the stars and constellations through a clear sky. According to forecasts, the clouds are not supposed to break and the day is to be dark and dreary. Reading the 5th chapter of Isaiah and how "even the light is darkened by its clouds", I had to wonder what my clouds are. What do I allow in my life to block the source of light? What keeps me from seeing things in the brightness of full day sun? For the coming new year, I pray for removal of the cover of clouds and for the mind and spirit to see my path in full sunlight (or maybe that should be Sonlight).

I am not a patient person. I like to keep moving. Last week, Gena and I were going shopping and came upon stalled traffic at a bridge. Rather than wait in traffic, I took an exit and looped around to a completely different area than where we had planned to go. When I pull in to a drive-through, if the line is more than a couple of cars long, I will leave to go somewhere else, even though it may actually take longer than waiting. I will change channels on the TV instead of waiting through the commercials. Many times in my life, I have felt that I knew God's plan for me. Also, there have been many times that I did things  just to keep moving, even though it may have changed my direction. Spur of the moment decisions have undermined carefully thought out plans. I wanted His plans completed in my time frame. I pray for patience that I look for God's timing and not my own. I pray that I can cease striving to accomplish tasks and projects on my schedule. I pray that I can be an act...

It is easier for me to allow God's redirection if I am moving, rather than if I am sitting still. I need to put it in GEAR, even if my foot is on the brake!    Faith is not just trusting God to work, but trusting Him to work through me. Walking by faith (as opposed to standing by faith) is not waiting for God to do something I could be doing myself. Waiting for God can be an act of faith, but it could also be an act of walking by sight. I need to be careful in choosing when I wait and when I go.

Understanding God’s will for me is not just figuring out where He wants me, but following Him as He leads me. He may take me through detours, rest stops, and places to teach me. The lamp that lights my path only shows a few steps ahead. If I look away from the path He is showing me, I risk stumbling. I cannot focus on where He WILL lead me but instead should focus on where He IS leading me. God’s will is not a destination...it is a process.